Wednesday, April 10, 2013

A Day in the LIFE......

Ok, so my blog name speaks for itself, so I figured why not whine about my daily schedule:

5:30am - Alarm goes off, click volume button for 5 more minutes

5:40am - Ok, so I lied, clicked it twice for 10 more minutes, realize I have to get up in order not to be stuck in traffic

5:45am - Enter shower, turn it on. Toddler BUSTS out of his room, BUSTS into the bathroom, sits himself on a stool and drinks his sippy cup

6:00am - Finish showering, open curtain, clean up unrolled toilet paper courtesy of toddler

6:10am - I am dressed

6:30am - Toddler is half dressed because dressing him is like trying to catch a chicken, toddler screams and cries but finally submits to his demise of the clothes he hates (now its shorts, he hates the shorts, he says I NO LIKE IT!!!!!!, tries to pull them down, this is great, let me tell you.)

6:40am - Making my checks: his sippy cups for daycare, made sure I left lunch for the grown man a.k.a my 6 year old, make sure daddy has his keys and wallet because he is just wonderful about leaving those things ANYWHERE.................and then this happens: OH LOOK TODDLER WENT POOPY!!!!!!!!!!

6:50am - In the car - on my way to drop toddler off and to work.....any one of these events occur during the ride:
  • toddler sings, is happy and merry (happens like once a month)....
  • toddler drops his sippy cup 50 times and cries every single time, asks mommy to get it, doesn't get the concept of driving, flips out some more and throws up....
  • toddler attempts to take off every article of clothing and cannot, so he flips out and throws up.....
  • THE SUN IS IN HIS EYES!!!!!!! GOD FORBID!!!!!! you already know what happens next.....FUN FUN FUN!
7:45am - Toddler usually has no problems being dropped off after mommy looks like she's about to get all mommy dearest on him

8:00am - Got my coffee, ready to start my work day

10:00am - Ok, I finished checking out my fb, cm and all that, NOW I AM READY!

4:00pm - Picking up toddler, he doesn't want to leave, he doesn't want to be put back in the car seat, he wants to run in the parking lot alone, he wants french fries, he wants daddy, he wants Angel, he wants his dropped sippy cup, he can't have any of those things.....

5:00pm - We get home, grown man is there and wants to know whats for dinner, toddler is screaming I'M HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Between Dinner and Bedtime- Kids fights yell, scream, watch TV:  rinse and repeat - daddy is not fazed by this, mommy wants a xanex

8:00pm - Mommy needs a drink......throw the kids in the bath and put them to bed. Grown man comes out of room about 2 times because...well, he doesn't exactly know why, he just felt like it!

8:15pm - Mommy decided to make life easier and start graduate school online after kids go to bed.........................................................................................................................!!!!!!!!!!!

1:00am - WAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH MORE MILK MOMMY MORE MILK!!!!!!!!! - mommy wishes she drank because she sure does feel drunk when woken up from sleep for some freakin milk!

Various Times Throughout the Night, usually about 3 now - WAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAH MY BLANKET FIX IT MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5:30am - Alarm goes off...................

oh and here is a picture for good measure....please notice the toddler in his natural state:

Friday, April 5, 2013

I am the chicken master!

Ok, so lately I haven't been cooking so well. I am always in search of recipes (I totally abuse my pinterest boards) and every time I make something, it always needs more seasoning then what the recipe calls for. I still have not learned my lesson, more seasoning Crystal, your man likes his meat flavored!

Let's go back to January. I had my tonsils taken out and it was possibly the worst thing I have ever experienced. I had a good friend come over and take care of my house and the cooking and me (she is THE best!) She is one of the best cooks I have ever known, besides my momma of course. During this time, I had all intentions of watching her cook so I could learn from her, but I was on some good drugs and took advantage of sleeping as much as I could.

As you can imagine, my BF was the happiest man on earth with her food everyday. I mean, you would have thought he wanted to marry her (lol <--nervous laugh). He is always saying, why can't you cook more like (insert friends name) and I am like THEN GO LIVE WITH HER! Of course I don't mean it, but he is super serious about me learning to cook like her. With the distance between us friends, its nearly impossible for me to take a day out and learn how to cook. She cannot write recipes because she just wings it. I mean ALL OF THESE YEARS I have been following recipes and she wings it and nails it everytime? PFFFFFFT!

I finally got her on the phone and she told me what to buy, how to do it and she made me repeat back to her about 5 times, OCD ANYONE?!

I did it. I conquered a whole chicken. I served it to my BF and he says "Where did you buy this chicken OMG ITS SO GOOD". I am like :|  I MADE IT YOU JERK! The look of surprise, happiness and satisfaction came over him. I am going to make this chicken everyday and I don't care who gets sick of it. I am tired of hearing complaints from my customers! I am also tired of serving them, anyone want to come waitress at my house for me?

Pollo Al Horno (Spanish Roasted Chicken):

^^I totally jacked this picture but I swear my chicken looked like this

  • One whole chicken (I used a 4 pound chicken, if you get more pounds just increase the seasonings)
  • Limes (1 is good mmkay) 
  • Seasonings: 
    • Olive oil (about 2 tablespoons)
    • Rosemary (about 2 sticks)
    • Thyme (2 sticks)
    • Sage (about 4 leaves)
    • About 4 cloves of fresh garlic
    • Adobo - About 2 tablespoons
    • A packet of sazon con achiote looks like this below
      • You can find the adobo and sazon in the spanish section of your grocery store unless your store is racist (disclaimer: that was a joke)

How to:
  1. Take chicken out of the package or else this whole thing is gonna go to shit.
  2. I had my mom cut off the nasty parts, I am still learning, but take the guts out, cut the extra fat and icky parts of the chicken off.
  3. If you don't believe in this, close your eyes: Wash the chicken with water (in an empty sink I can't stress that enough, wear some gloves). 
  4. Cut the lime in half and squeeze it over the chicken, rub that chicken with lime, c'mon RUB IT.
  5. Rinse the chicken again, rubbing don't stop.
  6. Put all of the seasonings along with the olive oil (DO NOT PUT ANY LIME, THATS A NO NO)  in a small chopper/food processor and blend it all together to make a paste.
  7. Now, you are use to this by now, RUB THAT STUFF ALLLLLLL OVER THE CHICKEN. I mean really get aquainted with this chicken. Rub it inside and out and in everywhere possible on and in this chicken. Sprinkle some adobo inside of the chicken too.
  8. Once you have done the dirty, put the chicken in a ziplock or covered container. Let it sit for a while. I started at 2pm and didn't make dinner til 5pm. The chicken came out good. You could do it overnight or just within a couple of hours before dinner. 
  9. Before putting it in the oven (I went against my friends directions a little) I peeled a whole onion and some garlic cloves and stuffed it inside the chicken, he liked it. You can also tie your chicken up but I didn't think the chicken would be into it :/
  10. Get a roaster pan or aluminum pan is fine, you can put some olive oil, just a tad at the bottom but its not needed.
  11. Put in the oven on 375 for about an hour and a half or until a food thermometer reads 165 degrees F.
  12. Serve it with an attitude because MEN SUCK! lol I KID I KID. Seriously, this chicken is amazing!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

YAY! Welcoming myself....

Hey everyone! I figured I would give this blog thing a shot, so here I am! I can't promise this is going to be the most AMAZING blog ever, but I can promise: honesty, comedy and strange things I personally think everyone should know :) 

A little about myself:

I am a 29 (almost 30 waaahhh) year old mother of 2 handsome boys/monkeys (ages 2 & 6) and a loving yet spastic girlfriend (he needs to change that) to their daddy. 

I work full time (that's M-F dawn til dusk folks) and when I'm not guessed it, I am being....are you ready for it....A MOTHER! Yes, that's right! Mommy doesn't go out, mommy doesn't take a break because if I don't do it.....there's always a babysitter :)

What can you expect from this page:
Well I am going to complain about my children, complain about their daddy, complain about my job and complain about recipes that didn't go right. I might mix some happy shit in there, so don't worry, no depression inducing posts here! (well, maybe some!)

I hope you enjoy and share with your friends, they could be looking for someone who can relate to them like I can!